Massholes Take the MoMA

My sister from the 508 came to NYC for a long weekend, and becuase she's a cool kid, we went to the MoMA (or the Museum of Modern Art for the plebeians out there).

We walked from Herald Square to the MoMA, which is only 15 blocks, but in 3 degree weather, it was The Nightmare. Even though it's always shorts weather for Massholes, this was cold & RIDIC. Before we got going, we stopped at a Dunks, and weirded out the cashiers by ordering iced coffees. We explained to them that "it was a Masshole thing", but they were zero percent  convinced.

So freezing. So worth it.

After slogging uptown to the MoMA, we quickly realized what disturbing reality we had just payed to enter. Dear God, was it disturbing.

We started on the 2nd floor, at an exhibit called "Take an Object" which looked like insanity captured on canvases and other mediums. The sis and I visibly recoiled at pretty much every piece of "art" that we saw. It's like the artist combined three recreational drugs, injected them intravenously, smushed together some paint and things, and made up a deep backstory for what it represents. And those backstories only make sense when you're on drugs as well, so....

Some of the most disturbing pieces we saw are...

"Art No. 1": This terrifying armchair covered in dirty, white... dildos?

Uhhhhhhhhhh...

"Art No. 2": Chicken wire in a cylindrical shape with long hair tied to it. Yum. Seriously, what could this represent, other than the newest villain of one of my recurring nightmares?

Massholes wearing sunglasses indoors & not getting the "art".

"Art No. 3": Rocks. Literally. What is so poignant about stones in a glass case? This is the kind of "art" installment I'd make if I was totally wasted and desperate. 

The kid I nanny could make this. He's 4.

On our way up to the other levels of the museum, we saw a rehearsal for some unknown installment going on. No one spoke, the actors moved in jolting, weird ways, and everyone looked pained to be in that painfully bizarre situation. It lasted the three hours we were at the museum. Three. Hours. 

Overall, it was a good experience to have, but these Masshole siblings are going to say "been there, never going back" to the MoMA after this first visit. We've been disturbed enough for a lifetime after our adventure there. I think we'll be sticking to the Met. 

So, who's afraid terrified of modern art? These Masshole ladies, for sure.

Leave a comment telling me your favorite piece of art, and/or your fave museum to spend the day in!